all_strange_wonders: An illustration of Nita from the Young Wizards story "Uptown Local". (tired of smiling)
Have finally found something irritating about one of my flatmates.

Every time she walks in and sees me in the kitchen, she asks what I'm making.

"Well," I do not say, "if you would use your eyes, you would see that I have peanut butter and bread out. If you would like to exercise a little logic, you could probably guess"

I also do not say, "Frozen rolls, just like it says in big letters on this bag I'm holding, you moron," or, "Fried baby! It's my mother's recipe," although I'm deeply tempted to.

What is more irritating is that she then wants to have a conversation about how she lived on pb&j her freshman year but can't stand just peanut butter on her sandwiches, or how interesting frozen rolls are. I do not care about your peanut butter preferences, frozen rolls are not interesting. I just want to make this food so that I can go back to my mountain of reading.
all_strange_wonders: An illustration of Nita from the Young Wizards story "Uptown Local". (Default)
Google Maps knows the road ends just past our house.

IT IS A MIRACLE.

Now if only all the GPS maps would learn the same thing, we'd be in business. Because apparently in a fight between a sign that says "Road ends, 300 feet" and a GPS that says the road goes through, the GPS wins. Go figure. Luckily, the DOT game along and not only put up posts to keep morons from driving across the unpaved, ungravelled dam, but put up some red signs on each end to make it really, really plain that NO YOU CANNOT DRIVE HERE. Not even golf carts and four wheelers fit through those posts, although morons looking for something to set on fire unfortunately do. So far, their hobbies include not only arson, but trespassing and vandalism. Fun!

Of course, we're expecting one of these young idiots to fall into the lake and sacrifice themselves to Darwin pretty much any time now, and we draw the line of being helpful at calling the ambulance. The lake is much deeper at the dam's edge than it used to be, and jumping in to try and pull someone out is a really good way to drown yourself.

On the bright side, it turns out there are fish in our lake! We don't know how they got there, but they're bigger than the minnows that were all we had last year.
all_strange_wonders: An illustration of Nita from the Young Wizards story "Uptown Local". (Default)
I really wish that "Don't Speak" by No Doubt would stop invading my life at regular intervals. It's not that it's bad song, just unfortunately memorable and applicable to some of my relationships.

So either I need to:
a) Go back in time an keep them from ever recording the song
b) Work harder to maintain important relationships (or in this case, encourage the friend in question to join in with the working harder.)
c) Stop caring so much, since a friend who isn't willing to work on maintaining a friendship clearly isn't as invested in it as you are.

One of these is funny, one of them is what I usually do (while feeling like I'm a pushy pest), and the third is the option I should probably try out. Because when you're being left behind by someone you care about, it sucks, but there's nothing you can do to change their mind. It's much more profitable to try changing your own instead.


Anyway, I'll be in the back yard building a time machine if you want me.
all_strange_wonders: An illustration of Nita from the Young Wizards story "Uptown Local". (terrible danger)
There are plenty of things to be peeved about in the world of fanfiction--misspellings, bad or no punctuation, a total lack of paragraphs, badly handled dialogue, straight up bad writing, and pretty much all crossovers ever, just to name a few (and oh, does the list go on*). Here are two examples of what I call "summary peeves"--things people will say in their story summaries that will put me off a story before I've even read it.

Pet Peeve #11479a:
People who say "First fic, don't be mean" or some variation thereof in their summaries. This is actually code for "This is so bad it may actually be unreadable. I didn't use spellcheck and I don't believe in paragraphs or punctuation. If you offer constructive criticism, I will fly off the handle and threaten to kill myself because I am a sensitive artist and you are *SOB* SO MEAN!!1!!1!".
If there is a disclaimer of this type in an author's note within the story but NOT in the summary and it is clear that the author has made an effort to work with the English language instead of against it, this peeve may not apply. That first post is nerve-wracking, after all.

Pet Peeve #11479b:
People who say "Review for updates" (or, more commonly, review4updates, thus vaulting it into a whole new level of peevery**) in their summaries. This is convenient shorthand for "I am an attention whore. This story will be of indifferent quality at best, and you will not review it, hoping thereby to kill it stone dead."
As a general rule, I can pass by these without even a glance, safe in the assurance that there is nothing there worth reading and that any review I might post would merely be frothing at the mouth about the murder of the English language.

*Baby Peeve of the Day: Using "said" instead of "the" when referring to a recently mentioned person or object. Example: "Said girl picked up said sunglasses and put them on." I have written no less than 5 reviews today trying to politely point out that this is irritating, confusing, and jarring for the reader, and deleted them all after concluding that there is no polite way to tell people they need to Just Write Better.

**See: Spaces Are Good and Use Real Words
all_strange_wonders: An illustration of Nita from the Young Wizards story "Uptown Local". (graverobber)
"Brighten up! It's Half Off Chocolate Eve!"-- a different perspective on Valentine's day, via[livejournal.com profile] metaquotes.

My approach to the day was more like "Cheer up! You can have two mimosas with lunch!", but I can definitely get behind the idea of chocolate. The closest I got to a Valentine's gift from anyone besides my parents was Chris considering the idea of getting me a "Sorry we broke up, but I'm glad we're friends again" flower, then deciding not to because he thought it might be a little weird. Both sentiments were appreciated, because it's a nice idea in theory, but perhaps a little awkward in practice.
all_strange_wonders: An illustration of Nita from the Young Wizards story "Uptown Local". (so happy together)
Men.

I do not understand them. In fact, the men I am most intimately acquainted with are the ones I understand least. Could somebody please explain that to me? I mean, I love them anyway (how could I not? they're wonderful people), but I don't get them. Sometimes I feel like things would be much easier if I could just peer inside their heads and see what they're thinking. Or maybe if they came with a translator.

In other news, still single, since apparently these days I attract exactly the wrong sort of guy for my tastes. That's another thing I'd like explained, please. Why do all these clearly inferior specimens persist in thinking that I might sleep with them? Because frankly, I don't think I'll ever be that desperate, and if I ever am, I hope you all will do the kind thing and put me out of my misery.
all_strange_wonders: (londo vir OMFG)
Oh dear. It's bad to realize that you're having a party on Thursday when it's Monday night and you're not actually sure how many people you're entertaining. Or how many beds you'll need. Or what you're going to feed them.

This must be why I always find my pleasant, low-key little gatherings to be so exciting. The panic and terror of the preceding few days lend the actual event a certain something.
all_strange_wonders: An illustration of Nita from the Young Wizards story "Uptown Local". (Default)
Well, Durham Tech has certainly taught me one thing--how to go forth and do battle with the forces of bureaucracy.

Forward, to victory or death!
all_strange_wonders: An illustration of Nita from the Young Wizards story "Uptown Local". (Default)
Don't you just love it when you wake up in the morning and your back sounds like a bowl of rice krispies?
all_strange_wonders: An illustration of Nita from the Young Wizards story "Uptown Local". (Default)
Am writing English paper. Feel rather like a stunned duck- cannot figure out automatic page numbering and cannot get over it and move on to something else. Curse you, NeoOffice.
all_strange_wonders: An illustration of Nita from the Young Wizards story "Uptown Local". (shh)
"Edward de Vere, Christopher Marlowe, Ben Johnson, and Francis Bacon have each been accused of being the real author of all or part of the canon published under the name William Shakespeare."

That's not what the summary I was reading said, but I wish it had. Really, it's never an attribution or a suggestion- it's an accusation. "You wrote Romeo and Juliet, you plagiarizing bastard! Admit it! ADMIT IT!!"
all_strange_wonders: An illustration of Nita from the Young Wizards story "Uptown Local". (self-centered tyrannical maniac)
You know how sometimes you only know how much your life doesn't suck by seeing how much worse somebody else's is?

Well, I may be 20 years old, living with my parents, depressed, going to community college, have a crappy job, and still have feelings for a guy who broke up with me 2 years ago; but at least I'm not 18 years old, pregnant, living with my parents, not going to school at all, with no job, and a boyfriend who also lives with his parents and has no job.

Ain't life grand?

Seriously, it's not that bad. There are things I enjoy doing, people I enjoy spending time with and talking to, and my depression is under control. I like most of the people I work with.

It is frustrating, though. I have never been good at balancing work and play, stress and relaxation, and I'm not getting good enough at it fast enough. I feel like I'm disappointing everyone, not living up to expectations (not even mine) again. And I'm lonely, although that most gets sublimated into my writing. I know that no twenty year old should be worried about being an old maid- but then I don't genuinely believe that there's someone for everybody. Not in the sense most people mean it, as mutual bonds. I don't mean that in a dramatic, "Oh, I shall never love again!" sort of way. I dearly hope I will. I mean it in an "Oh, will it ever actually work out?" sort of way. I realize that my experience is fairly limited, but I'm inclined to say the odds are against me.

I'm just frustrated with where my life is right now. I am surely not the only one in the world who is. I'm almost certainly not the only one of my friends who is. But nobody else is saying so in as many words. It's a hard job, stating the obvious, but somebody's got to do it.
all_strange_wonders: An illustration of Nita from the Young Wizards story "Uptown Local". (a nice doomsday)
I saw a lot of breathtakingly bad and spectacularly stupid driving today. A lot even for Durham, where people routinely do things on the road that make me think they must have had a quick lobotomy on the way out the door in the morning.
I guess it's something in the air.

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