all_strange_wonders: (crisis management)
[personal profile] all_strange_wonders
... there will be no asylum for any of us.

I got thrown feet-first into taking cases yesterday, almost literally, despite still having no fucking clue what I'm doing. I laughed out of sheer terror when my coworkers told me I was taking a case. My heart races every time I have to send an email or make a phone call. I'll adjust, eventually, when my hindbrain realizes that I can't actually fuck everything up that spectacularly.

In the meantime, I look at the news and wonder how long it will be before we're scrambling to escape. North Carolina is a political disaster for everyone who's not a straight, white, evangelical Christian Republican man. There are a lot of people here who don't tick all those boxes, and we are frankly screwed. I live in one of the urban centers, and I have a decent job, so we're insulated from the worst of it, but reading the local news every day is just a slow burn of helpless rage. I want to say that this isn't who we are, but as Peter points out, it certainly does seem to be.

We should be better.

The national news doesn't help, of course. Part of me--a part I'm ashamed of and yet perversely must shine a light on--is glad about the recent news out of Portland, because it at least shows that the South isn't the only part of the country where white supremacists are feeling comfortable again. I don't feel so bad about not wanting to move there.

And then there's... oh, everything else. So much, every day, toxic and corrosive and inescapable. Where can you move to escape climate change? Where does international brinksmanship and bullying take us? What, really, is the point of anything if this mad toddler can charge in and destroy everything?

Sometimes, these days, I feel like I can't stay here. But then, where else is there to go?
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all strange wonders

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